I do not know if this is something built into every man or into every person, but I know that inside of me there is a desire to be a hero - to the be the one that saves others from during their darkest times. I desire to be the one who brings change, life and hope into the most impossible, hopeless situations. I want to be their hero and win their praises. And I find that this desire plays out in almost every area of my life. I want to be the first to arrive, the first to sacrifice my time and my money for a good cause, the first to step up to the plate when a team I am on is facing a challenge. When things get crazy at work - I want to be right in the thick of it directing people around and keeping all our heads above the water.
But just recently God called me out on a fight, an opportunity to be the hero that I have been ignoring. A fight with the possibility to change lives, to defeat anxiety, free up finances, break chains that hold people to their past and demolish strongholds of addiction. A fight that He has fully equipped me for, yet one that I have haphazardly stepped in and out of, never truly carrying the vision, weight or passion for. A fight that is to be made on my knees in prayer.
I don't know how much you understand about prayer or what it does - or even whether you believe in it or not. It is an area that I am slowly learning more and more about. But a few of the things that I do know are that
1. We are not fighting against flesh and blood, but instead against spiritual forces and beings
2. For a spiritual being to have authority it must first be given, released, broken and taken by human beings
3. There are two sides to this battle, and the other side isn't waiting for me to show up
4. If I truly want to make a difference, Gods power, released through prayer, can achieve far more than I ever could in person
Now I can give many reasons why I shy away from this fight - it borders an area that I do not fully understand, its victories are ones that I will never receive the praise given most warriors for, and it rests fully out of my control, relying instead upon my faith and trust in a Father God. But when I was thirteen God spoke to me through a prophetic word to say that I was a warrior. He has recently begun speaking to me about this again, giving me words and pictures that paint a mighty warrior setting people free, a warrior whose power and purpose is found in a quiet place - on his knees. Not an easy task for me - but one that I want to allow Him to train me in. Because what if I really rise to the occasion? What is stood to be gained or lost? My heart breaks for my own generation - I have seen the scars of many a self-inflicted cut, I have seen the complete dissolving of identity and perceived value from shame and regret, I have been handed a suicide note from a broken young girl who wasn't even aware of the spiritual battle waging around her. I have seen good young men fall away from relationships and responsibility. We talk about fatherlessness and the effects of this upon children growing up. I have led, talked to and cried for far too many foster children who have never been told that they are worth anything, who believe that they are unloved, worthless, and destined for failure. I look around and cannot help but to be confronted by the brokenness of the world around me. This is a brokenness that only my God can truly have an impact on - an impact that I believe so often is waiting upon His people to stand in faith and ask for.
There is a story that I have heard many times that goes something like this. "One day an older man was walking down a beach, a beach covered in starfish that had been washed up in a storm the night before. As he walked along, he came across a boy who one by one was picking up the starfish and throwing them back into the water. The older man spoke up and said to the boy 'don't you realise that your wasting your time? There are thousands of starfish, you can't possibly save them all'. The boy looked down at the beach for a moment, then he picked up another starfish and threw it back into the water. 'It wasn't a wasn’t of time for that one.'
I cannot fight for every person in the world, if I saw it that way it would appear a futile waste of time. But I can fight for 'that one', and for them it is not a waste of time - it can be life changing, even though they may never even know. This is the fight that God has been challenging me to enter. A fight that has the potential to change the lives of hurting and broken people around me.
(original post January 21, 2020)
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