"If you were to leave this season with the same addictions, the same brokenness and the same pain, but you left with a deeper relationship with me - would you be satisfied?"
How would you respond if God asked you this? What if your plan to see breakthrough, growth, influence, and increase was secondary to His simple yet incredible desire to know you intimately!
Three years ago I set aside five months of my life to build a stronger foundation of faith in God. I arrived at a breathtaking 300-acre campsite with a car full of clothes, a mind full of baggage, and plans for freedom and change in my life. But three months later I sat crying with God - everything that I had brought before Him still existed in my life, and if anything, I felt more pain than ever.
"When are we going to deal with all of this God?"
And that’s when He asked me this question - a question that I didn't have an answer for, a question I wrestled with for weeks, a question that reshaped how I viewed my Christian life. A question that made me realise that life with God is not about me being happy, peaceful, and free. it's not about me seeing breakthrough in my life. It's not about me having a great influence, it's not about me being there for the hurting and broken around me. It's not even about me reading my Bible, praying, or going to church. It's about me building a relationship with a loving Father, a Saviour in Jesus, and a guide and comforter in Holy Spirit.
And as I build this relationship it brings me peace, purpose, influence. As I build this relationship it leads to breakthrough. As I build this relationship it brings me opportunities to love and care for the hurting and broken. As I build this relationship it stirs within me a desire to read my Bible, to spend time in prayer and be involved in a church family. But if I were to receive His hands and His help but never see His face, I would be missing out on the truth of the Christian life.
Three years later I sat in my room wrestling with my hurt, my brokenness and my insecurities, when God gently asked me a question.
"If you were to leave this season with the same addictions, the same brokenness and the same pain, but you left with a deeper relationship with me - would you be satisfied?"
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