“My efforts brought me to several conclusions about pornography. First, the way it is created is a form of sex trafficking. That’s not an overstatement. Sex trafficking is using force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of a commercial sex act, and that’s exactly what porn involves.”
- Benjamin Nolot
This quote comes from a man who has studied pornography and sex trafficking for over a decade.
In my life, I have encountered those who believe that pornography is harmless, healthy, and even helpful! I could not disagree with this more vehemently – porn is abhorrent, destructive, and evil.
I could liken porn to smoking. When smoking first came out it was harmless, cool, and popular. Study after study showed how harmless it was, even suggesting that it was good for you! But as anyone who did the research would know, the (mis)information coming out was all funded by the same companies making huge amounts selling cigarettes. As time passed, the truth was revealed – smoking is dangerous to your health, it can kill you, and as such laws and child protection measures were put in place. It’s the same today with porn – a 97-billion-dollar industry. If you want the facts, you must dig a little.
Ok, so why am I so against porn? So many reasons. Please note, I have not quoted references or gone in-depth, because this blog is not the right place for that. This piece is intended to be short, thought-provoking, and hopefully encourage you to continue learning more. If you want to see more of the facts and studies, I have included a few reference points at the end. But as you read on, these are a few of the headlines of why I believe porn is fundamentally bad.
TRIGGER WARNING: While I avoid sharing anything unnecessarily graphic or crass, I have tried to be open and direct. If these topics could be triggers to you, please read on with care.
1) Porn is teaching the world a dangerous and fake narrative of sex
Where to even start? Consent? Consent in porn means to keep going until they enjoy it. Video after video contributes to the fake and dangerous narrative that if someone says no, just keep going and they (normally she) will thank you later (regardless of whether they are married, related to you, or any other perverse complication). Women? The porn woman is there as an object to make a man feel good. A ‘strong woman’ in porn is, at best, someone who can leverage their sexuality. And men? They are aggressive animals, without the ability to show compassion, emotions, or connection – all they care about is sex, hardcore sex. And pleasure? The acts that are depicted in porn movies make women scream with …pleasure? Many of those screams are real, but they have nothing to do with pleasure. The smiles they show are faked so that they get paid – many of those hardcore scenes end in the female lead being taken to a medical Centre/hospital to have her injuries tended to. The list goes on – porn creates a carefully constructed narrative of fake sex that drives up consumption. Children are watching this. Young people are learning about sexual relationships from this. We as a society would be naive to believe that this is not having detrimental effects on those around us.
2) Coercion and abuse
Many of the actors are coerced into these scenes. One common way this happens is that they are asked to perform a certain scene, but on arrival find out it is completely different. If they say no though, they may lose their job and their reputation – how then will they pay the bills? These same women can be left curled up in the foetal position at the end of a scene, crying and broken at what they have just experienced. This is just one-way coercion exists in porn, but research it more – the coercion and abuse that exists in this industry should make you nauseous.
3) Porn damages relationships.
Porn impacts relationships in many ways. It can feel like your partner is cheating on you. It can lead your partner to expect and demand sexual behaviour that is far above and beyond what you would want. There is something called supernormal stimuli – The basis of which is that when we experience something “bigger and better” (aka. The shiny allure of porn), regular, normal, healthy sex no longer satisfies your brain - even after porn is removed from the scenario. I have heard countless times that porn can be used to benefit relationships, but research shows this to be a complete misconception. The cold, hard reality? Porn destroys relationships.
4) Porn is underregulated
In 2020, Pornhub (the largest porn site in the world) and its parent company MindGeek removed over 10 MILLION videos from their site following public allegations that they showed child actors and rape videos. I have personally signed petitions and followed stories where women have found their rape videos on Pornhub and contacted them, begging for them to take them down, only to be ignored time and time again. These companies only took action to remove these videos when the stories went viral, hurting their brand and revenue. Porn has connections to (and heavily drives) sex trafficking, slavery, rape, and so much more. Yet the regulation around it is so minimal – the stories that come out of the industry are bone-chilling.
5) Porn fuels the commercialized sex industry
Take prostitution, for example, porn fuels the demand for paid sex and some would say that this is fine – their body their choice right? But this is a career steeped in prejudice and abuse. Did you know that 75% of prostitutes have experienced homelessness at some point in their life? And 85-95% want to get out of the industry but feel unable to do so. Commercialised sex has led to the abuse of countless men and women, fuelling sex trafficking around the globe, and in many cases affecting children long before they even reach puberty. Some people may, in a philosophical discussion in the comfort of their homes, be able to decide that paid sex is ethical, but the hard reality for most people in the industry is anything but. The story goes on and on – commercialized sex is dangerous to all.
6) Porn is too easily accessible for children
The average age children are accessing porn is around 12 years old (this is the reported number, it appears to be quickly dropping though) – that is long before their brains are old enough to understand the difference between paid acting and the real thing. Porn can cause trauma, as well as dangerous and long-term changes to the neural structure in young people's brains. The porn industry makes zero effort to protect the vulnerable in our society.
I would like to highlight that I have a strong differentiation between ‘porn’ and ‘sex’. I believe sex is good (though I do also have personal beliefs about sex outside of marriage). It is porn – the paid, commercialized, fake version of sex that leads to abuse and pain that I am against. Porn is not harmless. It is not a helpful resource for couples to ‘spice things up’. Porn is abhorrent and it is evil. This isn't just my opinion - this is what the research clearly shows. Porn's short-term 'feel good buzz' is costing the world our relationships, it is damaging our children, it is abusing our women and our men – all the while singing ‘I’m harmless, don’t mind me’. Don't take my word for it, look into it yourself.
I've included mention of a few resources below that have helped:
- The book ‘Raised on Porn’ by Benjamin Nolot
- Nefarious: Merchant of Souls documentary
- Raised on porn documentary
- Entering Pornland documentary
- Beyond Fantasy documentary
- Liberated documentary
- Fight the new drug social campaign (social media and documentaries)
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